P.A. Day

yayayayayayaya. =) Today york region schools had a pa day. At first, I said that I promised myself that I would do my homework and study and all cuz I have three tests on Monday and Tuesday. o_O....but sadly, I am disappointed at myself cuz I didn't do much...However..I did start on my accounting presentation so I guess that's a start. =D.

Yeah okay...so what else did I do today? hmmm...I woke up bright and early at 8:30...on a pa day!? o_o... Yeah and then I had lessons...and then I read a stack of newspapers to find some good articles for accounting. =P Took me long enough...since I am such an indecisive person. =S. Yeah anyhow...after looking for an hour and a half, I got 3 articles!!THREE!! =) yay! Then I ran out of the house and bused/subwayed my butt downtown to meet a bunch of friends. Yup. And then I bumped into Abby and Ray! =D hehe they're so cute. Yes anyhow...I went to starbucks and got my frapuccino mocha light and I was so happy...well for the amount of time it lasted. But technically, my first taste of it IS suppose to be my happiest moment out of my entire time of drinking it according to my economics textbook about some theory that some dude said. -_-. I can't actually believe that I remember this...thats my problem. I remember such useless things when instead I should be memorizing the chain rule or quotient rule for calc. yes..anyhow after I walked around with my friends, I subwayed my butt back to finch...and then I met my mommy next door at her work place. It started to rain and I didn't have an umbrella so I had to use my hood and I was carrying so much stuff too. So my hood kept flying back (it was also windy) and I had to put one hand on my head to keep my hood in place and carry everything else in my other hand. =/ Oh well, after I met my mom, we went to galleria where we met my dad. There, we ate dinner and I got my ja jang myun and I was sooo happy =)...even though it wasn't as good as the old buk choon place...it is better than everywhere else. =/ So...I am still searching for my perfect ja jang myun. If anyone knows of a place...PLZ tell me...=P (but not the chinese kinds...the korean ones. =) )Honestly....I miss the old chef at buk choon. =*( .

doo doo doo...today was sooo cold. And it's gonna get colder and colder....But I think I'd rather be cold then hot. I remember my brother use to ask me if I'd rather die by being frozen to death or being burnt alive. HAHAHA. how gay. It's like he wanted to plan my death strategically but only after he found out my preference of death. =P But yes...I think I'd rather be frozen to death...cuz then I"ll be too numb to feel anything and my heart rate will just slow down. Now on the other hand if I were to be burnt alive, I'd feel myself burn up. o_o.. Okay I dont know where this is going. AHHH geez...see...If I was studying instead of writing these random posts of nonsense of how to die...maybe...just maybe ...I'd do better at school. =P Okay, I guess I'll start cooking now for tomorrows pot luck. =) yum yum. Then I'll do some homework. =P

I'm so Old...

I just realized how old I'm getting. o_o. I'm no longer a kid anymore. =P boooo. Next year I"ll be going to university.. ahh...this is just happening way too fast. I also realized how unprepared I am for my last year. I should have been applying for scholarships in the summer!! not now...when homeworks piling up like ther's no tomorrow. ANd...I should have done alot better last year. -_-. Especially math...which is usually the subject that pulls everything up. But nope..not last year. And now scholarships are all asking for my grade 11 mark. o_o. So advice for ya'll fellow youngings....don't screw up in grade 11. It also helps you with early acceptance from unis. So yeah...I made a mistake and I can't go back...but if others do better than me, than i'll be happier. =)

yarse...I've been thinking of what I want to go in recently and now..I really don't know anymore. At first I was thinking of either going into pharmacy after taking a few years of life sciences, but the scary thing is that if the pharmacy program doesn't accept me after a few years of life science...I'll be so screwed. And... with only a life science degree, I dont think I can do much. =/ My second option is accounting....but the thing is, everyone I asked doesn't really like it cuz it's so stressful and everything. Some people even switched out of accounting and purused another career. SOOO...basically I dont know what to do anymore. Actually, I was thinking of going to UC San Francisco cuz then I could go straight into the Pharm D program ...and it's only about 6 years! =D But then I would have to take my sats. And I didn't even take them yet...nor did I even pick up the chunky sat book and start reading. o_o. Even if I do...I don't think I will be able to take the test in time. The dates for the test are Nov 4, Dec 22, Jan 27, Mar 10, May 5, Jun 22. I clearly can't do November 4 cuz I didnt' even start reading. I can't do dec. 22 cuz I'll be on an airplane to hk. I guess I could do Jan. 27, but that's around my exam week. The next date that I could write it is March 10, but by that time, university applications would be over. o_o. So um..yeah, I'm screwed. -_-

I was also looking at other professions that I could take like after a few years of life sciences like chiropractician or a radiologist. I think I might have to result in pursuing those instad. I'm not sure actually.... =/ hmmmm I've had major mood swings lately like yesterday...I was looking at the worship power point...and I just started crying all of a sudden...I couldn't stop....and my eyesight has gone sooo bad. It's really weird. I can barely see the computer screen now. haha. I have to stick my face close to the monitor so that I can see what I'm typing...even now.! lol Wow..i dont know what I'm going to do in a big lecture hall in uni. The thing is, I dont want to renew my glasses cuz I dont want my vision to get worse. I'd rather be semi-blind now. o_o and not blind for the rest of my life. =D Or maybe i"ll just get contacts...I kinda really need it for lifeguarding. I can't see anything...not even the people's faces. =S. haha. Let's just hope that no one drowns. =)

Good Times and Bad Times

Recap on Saturday:
Woke up bright and early at 9 something. =P Then I went to Finch station to meet a bunch of people. From there, me and 4 other "children" and our 18 year old father (hahaha) subwayed all the way downtown to the uni fair. =D ya...I didnt plan it. =P They just needed an extra child for a groupy. Anyhow, we get to a pre sky walk thing and a lot of companies are giving away free things and stuff. =D We were going crazy. haha...okay not really...but there was this one stand I stayed at for soooo long. o_o the Canon stand. =D They had this cool instant photo printer and so we/me haha ...decided to stay there for a while and take pics and print alot. harhar it was awesome. =) Anyhow, after getting alot of free stuff, we walked across the sky walk and went to the convention centre. I attended the waterloo co-op presnetation adn I thought it was pretty good. That just might be my future school. =D. yes yes

After the uni fair, we subwayed our butts to the north york centre, got off and karyn, carol and I went sushiing at ichiban. harhar =D It was awesome cuz I never get to spend time with these two cuz of various reasons. =/ And the food was awesome. yum yum. So after sushiing we then subwayed back to finch and then went our seperate ways. dooo doo doo what a fun day. =)

Then my parents came, picked me up, and dragged me to dinner where i watched them eat cuz i was so full from sushiing. After that, I went to felly and that was my night.

SOOO....that was the good side of me. Now here comes thes ugly part . Please do not read on if you are in a particularly happy mood, cuz I would just like to get this out of me, and it may change your happy mood. =/ Yeah, anyways I feel like ranting. Because I am very disturbed....I dotn know aobut what...maybe its everything thats going on. ionnno. I just feel like stopping everything...everything that's goign on. Or maybe im just oversensitive and paranoid about certain things. -_-. grrr I dont even think I am making sense. It's just that certain things tick me off and I feel like lashing out. But I can't, cuz I'm contained by many boundaries. I'm like a human bomb...ready to blow up but I dotn know when. The last time I ticked was errr last year about this time of the year. Yes...how odd..I still remember. I just know that this is so unhealthy for me cuz I never get to lash out. GRRR.... so pissed off. I hate you. Yes I do. Sometimes I hate you so much that I want to slap you. But no, I dont. Stupid me just stays quiet. That's how I express my anger...by staying quiet. -_- I know I shouldn't be hating you, but I do. Sometimes, I try to make myself think that I dont hate you...so I deny it and put a smile on my face. Sometimes I dont want to talk to you, but I still approach you and say something nice. I think I handle my anger in a very bad way. Oh geez....excuse me while I explode for a second...that is if I permit myself to explode. -_-. oh my...and everythings just so hypocritical man...my brother was right.. how horrible...I've always tried to deny it and think that there were always feasable explanations. But no, a person won't understnad until it actually happens...which is quite sad, cuz it took me stupid 17 years to find out. Ahhh...Im ranting. And this will never end. Maybe I'll feel better soon ...lets say tomorrow? =D no...I think not... I dotn know, I hope its soon though. I need to concentrate more on school...its grade 12, my important year. grrr I think Im just gonna stop here now, that kinda made me feel better. I think I know what I need to do now. =/ Maybe I"ll just stop now, there's no need for me anyways. =P okay...trying to think happy thoughts. ******** I think I'm good, I'm just gonna study for my accounting and chem test, maybe do my lab thats due tomrorow, and my calculus and geometry and discrete assingments. -_- ohhh goodness, Im hoping for a miracle here.